Man Rules!

I received the following in an e-mail the other day... Much of it is very true and pretty funny too:

 

Here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... These are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE! They are all of equal importance!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every  question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball.
Or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

I've Been Served!

That's right!  I have been served a Jury Summons for the Marion County Circuit Court for Dec 7th.  I have to call after 5pm the day before to see if I have to report or not.  You never know, the parties involved could settle the issue out of court.  I hope the don't!  I want to be apart of our nation's judicial system in whatever way I can.  I know I'll never be a Judge or Attorney, but being a juror is just as important.  I really enjoy reading John Grisham's best-selling legal thrillers.  Anyways, I've only had one Jury Summons before (about 4-5 yrs ago), but was disappointed when they threw the case out. I love the History of the United States and getting to possibly be a part of that history is so exciting!  I can hardly wait!  Check back sometime that weekend as I will post an update within a day or two after I report for Jury Duty.

Apologies

I want to apologize to all my readers for not posting anything for a over a month. I'm really sorry. My internet was down for at least two weeks and I've been really busy with work. Just to assure you all, though... I am working on a couple of different blogs to post. There have been some really exciting things going on in mine and my girlfriend's life lately about possibly going on a missions trip and I want you all to know about them! :-)